你是怎么學(xué)會(huì)愛自己的三 )

Anwesha Dash, Hopeless romantic.
Things I am insecured about:
My face is extremely big. I have big cheeks and I don't click well due to them.
I am tall but sometimes I feel left out when I have very few people to pose with. (YKWIM) I love my height but it has given me bad thoughts as well.
My lips. The lower one is bigger than the upper. I also have dark ones due to me being a tea addict. I won't leave tea for that ever.
My weight. I can gain weight by breathing, I feel. Ten days of diet and nothing works, one cheat day and my weighing scale is a disaster.
Plus there are many more which I don't feel comfortable sharing here. But let's look at the comments I have received from people (yes guys as well!)
I love your face. You are so cute and your cheeks are so squishy. You look so beautiful with, never loose them cheeks.
Damn you are so much tall. I like your confidence (that day I thought, how am I radiating confidence in any way?)

讓我感覺不到安全感的事情：
我的臉特別大。我的臉頰很大，而且由此我也顯得不太合群。
我個(gè)子很高，但當(dāng)很少有人和我合影時(shí)，我有時(shí)會(huì)覺得自己被冷落了。我喜歡我的身高，但它也讓我產(chǎn)生了糟糕的想法。
我的下嘴唇比上嘴唇大，還有黑眼圈，而且我是個(gè)茶迷，永遠(yuǎn)存不住茶。
我的體重，我覺得靠呼吸都可以增加體重。節(jié)食十天的卻毫無(wú)作用，松懈一天就懷疑體重秤壞了。
此外，還有很多我不愿意在這里分享的東西。但讓我們看看我收到的評(píng)論(是的，伙計(jì)們!)
我愛你的臉。你太可愛了，你的臉頰好軟了。你看起來(lái)很漂亮，臉頰從不松弛。
該死，你這么高。我喜歡你的自信(那天我想，我怎么能散發(fā)出自信呢?)

You have juicy lips. You rock lipsticks so well, especially the darker shades.
I love your outfit, it looks good only because you've worn it. Your body is made to carry this.
This is what I realised, how I overthink and subject myself to situations where I believe I lack a certain thing or have excess of some other. I always am insecured because of judging hard on myself. No one can make me feel that bad, like the way I have been doing to myself over the years.
It's all about perception, the thing which you feel least confident about can be a sought after trait by the other. Now if you are insecured about being short in height (for guys!) let me tell you a story of a random discussion within my friends. Two guys and a girl were commenting on a guy let's call him P who is not blessed in the height department.

你嘴唇多汁，你很喜歡唇膏，尤其是深色唇膏。
我喜歡你的衣服，你穿了才好看。簡(jiǎn)直為你量身定制的。
這就是我所意識(shí)到的，我是如何過度思考，如何讓自己陷入我認(rèn)為自己缺少某樣?xùn)|西或其他東西過多的情況。我總是因?yàn)閷?duì)自己苛責(zé)而沒有安全感。沒人能讓我這么難受，就像我這么多年來(lái)對(duì)自己做的那樣。
這都是關(guān)于感知的，你覺得最不自信的事情可能是另一方追求的特質(zhì)?，F(xiàn)在，如果你對(duì)身材矮小沒有安全感（對(duì)于男人來(lái)說(shuō)！）讓我給你講一個(gè)我朋友間隨機(jī)討論的故事。兩個(gè)男生和一個(gè)女生在評(píng)論一個(gè)男生我們就叫他P吧他在身高方面沒有優(yōu)勢(shì)。

Guy 1: I always think how P manages being so short.
Guy 2: Yes P, you are way shorter than the average height.
Girl: P is good looking thank god otherwise no one would stare at him.
P: I always used to be insecured because of my height. Then I joined college, got my desired branch and loved a girl who is shorter than me and moreover she loves me back. I have a pre-placement offer and a girl by myside. My father has enough property so I can start a business in the future as well. Job, girl and money I have it all which tall guys I know don't have till now. Why shall I be sad? I got everything I wanted!
(Every one remained silent)
This is a real incident, 100% real. So trust me if you are confident enough to achieve things nothing can come in your way. Look at Athiya Shetty (Indian Actress) who doesn't look the conventional Bollywood pretty but I am so much impressed by her recent sextion of movies to act in. She will establish herself as an actor in the industry rather than her contemporaries who are just dependent on skin show.
I once read a very cheesy quote on the Internet
If you don't have the courage to love yourself, then don't expect someone else to do that for you.

男1：我一直在想P是怎么接受這么矮的身高的。
男2：是的，P，你比平均身高矮多了。
女孩：P很好看，感謝上帝，不然沒人會(huì)盯著他看。
P：我以前總是因?yàn)槲业纳砀叨械讲话踩?。然后我進(jìn)入了大學(xué)，進(jìn)入了我想要的專業(yè)，愛上了一個(gè)比我矮的女孩，而且她也愛我。我拿到了預(yù)錄取通知書，身邊還有個(gè)女孩。我父親有足夠的財(cái)產(chǎn)，所以我將來(lái)也可以創(chuàng)業(yè)。工作、女孩和錢我都有，我認(rèn)識(shí)的高個(gè)子男人到現(xiàn)在都沒有這些。我為什么要悲傷？我得到了我想要的一切！
（大家都保持沉默）
這是一個(gè)真實(shí)的事件—100%真實(shí)。所以，相信我，如果你有足夠的信心去實(shí)現(xiàn)目標(biāo)，沒有什么能阻擋你?？纯从《扰輪T阿西婭·謝蒂（Athiya Shetty），她看起來(lái)不像傳統(tǒng)的寶萊塢美女，但她最近挑選的幾部電影給我留下了深刻印象。她將在這個(gè)行業(yè)中確立自己的演員地位，而不是像她同時(shí)代的人那樣只依賴于表演。
我曾經(jīng)在網(wǎng)上讀到一句非常俗氣的話—如果你沒有勇氣愛自己，那就不要指望別人會(huì)為你這樣做。

Priyanka Marka, I've messed up enough times to know a thing or two.

普里揚(yáng)卡·馬爾卡，我搞砸過很多次才略知一二
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://m.nxnpts.cn 轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處

Do things that win your own respect, not that of others. Make mistakes. Seek challenges. Consiously step out of your comfort zone as often as you can. Stretch. Rewire your mindset to failure. Do something for someone else without any expectations.
Focus on internal validation over external validation. Do not betray yourself in order to serve another, especially your principles. You must be your own strength; someone you can rely on. Thus, be honest with yourself. Hold yourself accountable for your actions, and take responsibility for your own happiness and outcomes..
Stop fighting who you are; Any change brought about by force is bound to collapse. If there is a change you wish to see in yourself, then seek it through empathy and persuasion.
Refuse to believe in anything that doesn't serve or help you. I don't mean to sugar-coat the truth. I mean learn to seperate facts from assumptions. The beauty of life is that it's unpredictable, and the beauty of people is that no amount of logical reasoning or ingenious deducation skills can tell you exactly what they're thinking. Don't create worries and problems where there are none.
Never ever complain or blame anyone else. You don't have to own being a victim even if you are one. Refuse. If you don't, you will be training your mind to focus on the negative and things you can't control. The remedy to this is gratitude and looking at yourself to see what you can improve or do differently when something goes wrong.
These are off the top of my head. Remember: Self-love isn't something that you either have or don't have. It's something you must continually nourish each day, just like any other relationship, or it will wither and die from neglect.
We all have bad days; the key is not to let them get the upperhand, or become a habit.

做能贏得自己尊重的事情，而不是去贏得別人尊重的事情。犯錯(cuò)誤以及尋求挑戰(zhàn)。盡可能經(jīng)常地走出你的舒適區(qū)，拉伸和重新調(diào)整你面對(duì)失敗時(shí)的心態(tài)，不求回報(bào)地為別人做點(diǎn)什么。
關(guān)注內(nèi)部驗(yàn)證而不是外部驗(yàn)證。不要為了服務(wù)他人而做違背自己，尤其是你的原則的事。你必須依靠自己的力量；讓自己成為你可以依賴的人。因此，對(duì)自己誠(chéng)實(shí)，為自己的行為負(fù)責(zé)，為自己的幸福和結(jié)果負(fù)責(zé)。
停止與你是誰(shuí)作斗爭(zhēng)；任何靠武力帶來(lái)的變革都注定要失敗。如果你希望在自己身上看到改變，那么通過同理心和說(shuō)服來(lái)尋求它。
拒絕相信任何不能服務(wù)或幫助你的東西。我不想粉飾事實(shí)。我不是故意粉飾事實(shí)。我的意思是學(xué)會(huì)區(qū)分事實(shí)和假設(shè)。生活的美在于它是不可預(yù)測(cè)的，而人之美在于再多的邏輯推理或巧妙的教育技巧也無(wú)法準(zhǔn)確地告訴你他們?cè)谙胧裁?。不要在沒有煩惱和問題的地方制造煩惱和問題。
永遠(yuǎn)不要抱怨或責(zé)怪別人。即使你是受害者，你也不必承認(rèn)自己是受害者。如果你不這樣做，你就會(huì)訓(xùn)練你的大腦專注于消極的和你無(wú)法控制的事情。補(bǔ)救的方法是感恩，并在遇到問題時(shí)看看自己可以改進(jìn)什么，或者做些不同的事情。
這些都是我能想到的。記住：自愛不是你要么有要么沒有的東西。這是你每天必須不斷滋養(yǎng)的東西，就像任何其他關(guān)系一樣，否則它會(huì)因忽視而枯萎和死亡。
我們都有糟糕的日子；關(guān)鍵是不要讓他們占上風(fēng)，或成為一種習(xí)慣。

Jodi Wright, former Financial Management at Military

喬迪·萊特，曾在軍隊(duì)做財(cái)務(wù)管理

I had to first understand why didn’t i love myself in the first place? What happened in my past or even child hood that made me think i was unworthy of being loved and being someone’s everything? My thought process was simple: a doctor can’t prescribe you something without diagnosing you first right? Because he has to know what’s wrong before he can figure out how to treat it. We have to do the same in order to grow.
For me: (my own personal experiences and things i’ve tried)
I had to re-train my brain. I had to acknowledge my emotions. I was always taught to move on and not to deal with emotions.
it started with a need to be perfect in order to earn someone else’s approval. I was taught to believe that perfection equals worth which totals love. But that can’t possibly be true because nobody is perfect but yet we all are worthy of and deserve love. That spilled itself over into lots of areas from grades in school, to career choices, body image issues, showing my authentic self etc.
We all make mistakes. I had to learn that and then accept it. I had to realize that just because i’m flawed doesn’t make me unloveable.

我必須首先明白為什么我一開始就不愛自己？在我的過去，甚至童年時(shí)代，發(fā)生了什么讓我覺得我不值得被愛，不值得成為別人的一切？我的思想歷程很簡(jiǎn)單：醫(yī)生不先給你診斷就不能給你開藥，對(duì)嗎？因?yàn)樗仨毾戎莱隽耸裁磫栴}，然后才能找到治療方法。為了成長(zhǎng)，我們也必須這樣做。
對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)：（我個(gè)人的經(jīng)歷和我嘗試過的事情）
我必須重新訓(xùn)練我的大腦。我必須承認(rèn)我的情緒。我一直被教導(dǎo)要向前看，不要感情用事。
一開始，為了贏得別人的認(rèn)可，你需要做到完美。我被教導(dǎo)相信做到完美才能擁有價(jià)值（得到所以愛）。但這不可能是真的，因?yàn)闆]有人是完美的，但我們都值得愛。從學(xué)校成績(jī)到職業(yè)選擇、身體形象問題、展現(xiàn)真實(shí)自我等等，這些都滲透到了很多領(lǐng)域。
我們都會(huì)犯錯(cuò)。我必須學(xué)會(huì)這一點(diǎn)，然后接受它。我必須意識(shí)到，僅僅因?yàn)槲矣腥毕莶⒉荒茏屛易兊貌皇軞g迎。

Loving myself essentially set the precedent for anyone else to be allowed to love me.
I had to learn that where you start doesn’t determine where you can end up. Let’s say you didn’t feel love as a child, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t worthy of love as an adult.
I had to show myself love and sort of date myself so to speak. I said positive affirmations about myself daily until i truly believed them. I had to realize things that i truly enjoyed doing, and then make time just for me. Put myself first and show myself self care.
I had to respect myself and learn to be kind to myself. .
I learned that true happiness comes from within and it starts with self love.

愛自己基本上為其他任何人愛我設(shè)置的前提條件。
我必須明白，你從哪里開始并不決定你能在哪里結(jié)束。假設(shè)你小時(shí)候沒有感受到愛，這并不意味著你作為一個(gè)成年人不值得被愛。
我必須表現(xiàn)出愛，可以說(shuō)是和自己約會(huì)。我每天都積極肯定自己，直到我真正相信。我必須意識(shí)到我真正喜歡做的事情，然后為我騰出時(shí)間。把自己放在第一位，關(guān)心自己。
我必須尊重自己，學(xué)會(huì)善待自己。
我明白了真正的幸福來(lái)自內(nèi)心，它始于自愛。

I had to explore things that made me uncomfortable like the idea of seeing a therapist. It really gave me the tools to thrive. I had to remove that notion that being vulnerable in front of a therapist was weird. You have to deal with your fear in order to over come it.
I had to ask myself how bad do i want this? Because the only way to get to a place of self love is to acknowledge it and put in the work.
I started spoiling myself and rewarding myself.
i had to clean house: remove things or people from my life that genuinely weren’t “team me”. I had to think about what am i bringing to these relationships/friendships. What are they contributing too? Is it one sided? Is it progressing? Is it positive/healthy? Distance yourself and set healthy boundaries.
I had to realize that true self love is constant, regardless of changing variables. Meaning: i love myself with a perfect gym body, but i also love myself exactly the same when i gain a few pounds. It means i love myself whether i’m a rockstar at work or feeling insecure.

我必須探索讓我不舒服的事情，比如去看心理醫(yī)生。它真的給了我成長(zhǎng)的工具。我必須消除在心理醫(yī)生面前表現(xiàn)出脆弱是很奇怪的想法。為了克服恐懼，你必須處理你的恐懼情緒。
我不得不問自己我有多想要這個(gè)？因?yàn)橐_(dá)到自愛的境界，唯一的辦法就是承認(rèn)并投入其中。
我開始溺愛自己，獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)自己。
我必須清理房間:從我的生活中移除那些真正不“支持我”的人或事。我必須思考我給這些關(guān)系/友誼帶來(lái)了什么。他們還貢獻(xiàn)了什么?是單方面的嗎?這是進(jìn)步嗎?這是積極的/健康嗎?保持距離，設(shè)定健康的界限
我必須意識(shí)到，真正的自愛是永恒的，無(wú)論變數(shù)如何變化。意思：我愛自己有一個(gè)完美的健過身的身體，但當(dāng)我增加了幾磅時(shí)我也愛自己。這意味著我愛自己，無(wú)論我是工作中的中心人物還是感到惶恐不安時(shí)的自己。

I had to give up control and leave things up to the universe. Trust that the universe has my back. There’s a saying “we plan and god laughs”. I had to come to terms with the fact that things may not go according to plan. But everything turned out exactly as it should be. This stems back to that childhood need to constantly seek perfection. I’ve learned that no matter how things turn out, this is my perfect life plan and ready to make the most out of it!
I had to learn to be proud of me regardless of the stage i’m currently in. I had to learn to be humble and grateful. Self hate and gratitude can’t live in the same space.
I focused on being kind to others, even if it’s not reciprocated. I did things because i wanted too, not for the praise. Kindness is contagious. And those who are mean to others are usually jealous, judgmental, and negative. I refused to spend my days that way. Plus when you love yourself, your mind is clear so you realize that big picture: you never know what someone is going through, so be kind. It takes the same level of effort as being mean. When you love yourself, you know it’s okay to root for others and want them to win.

我不得不放棄控制權(quán)，把事情留給宇宙去做。相信宇宙會(huì)支持我。俗話說(shuō)“人類一思考，上帝就發(fā)笑”。我不得不接受一個(gè)事實(shí)，事情可能不會(huì)按計(jì)劃進(jìn)行。但一切都完全按照它應(yīng)該的樣子發(fā)展。這源于童年對(duì)完美的追求。我明白了，無(wú)論結(jié)果如何，這都是我完美的人生計(jì)劃，我已經(jīng)準(zhǔn)備好充分利用它了!
我必須學(xué)會(huì)為自己感到驕傲，不管我現(xiàn)在處于什么階段。我必須學(xué)會(huì)謙遜和感激。自我憎恨和感恩是無(wú)法生活在同一個(gè)空間里的。
我專注于善待他人，即使沒有回報(bào)。我做事情是因?yàn)槲蚁胱觯皇菫榱吮頁(yè)P(yáng)。善良是有傳染性的，而那些對(duì)他人刻薄的人通常是嫉妒、挑剔和消極的。我拒絕這樣度過我的生活。另外，當(dāng)你愛自己的時(shí)候，你的頭腦是清晰的，所以你意識(shí)到了一個(gè)大局：你永遠(yuǎn)不知道別人正在經(jīng)歷什么，所以要友善。這需要付出和刻薄同樣的努力。當(dāng)你愛自己的時(shí)候，你知道支持別人并希望他們贏是可以的。

Jennie Sze, Founder at Give Glow (2016-present)

珍妮·斯，Give Glow創(chuàng)始人(2016年至今)
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://m.nxnpts.cn 轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處

Honestly, I didn’t learn to love myself until I met a partner who loved me unconditionally. Here is what I’ve learned from him, on how to love myself as much as he loves me.
Give yourself permission to ease up on your “should’s”
In the past, I tell myself I should sleep no more than 8 hours a day; watch no more than 2 hours of TV; exercise at least 3 times a week; eat no more than a handful of potato chips. I should… I should…
When I fail to follow my “should’s”, I feel ashamed. My partner, on the other hand, never judges me for how much I sleep, eat, watch TV or exercise. Where do these “should’s” come from anyway?
Now, instead of letting my “should’s” be my guide, I let how I feel moment to moment be my guide. I let myself enjoy TV, sleep, snacks etc. as much a I want without guilt, trusting that my body will tell me when I’m sufficiently re-charged.

說(shuō)實(shí)話，我沒有學(xué)會(huì)愛自己，直到我遇到了一個(gè)無(wú)條件愛我的伴侶。以下是我從他身上學(xué)到的，如何像他愛我一樣愛自己。
允許自己減少“應(yīng)該做的事情”
在過去，我告訴自己，我應(yīng)該每天睡眠不超過8小時(shí)；看電視時(shí)間不超過2小時(shí)；每周至少鍛煉3次；不要吃超過一把的薯片。我應(yīng)該…...還應(yīng)該…...
當(dāng)我沒有遵循我的“應(yīng)該”時(shí)，我感到羞愧。另一方面，我的伴侶從不對(duì)我睡了多少、吃了多少、看了多少電視或鍛煉了多少進(jìn)行評(píng)判。這些“應(yīng)該”從何而來(lái)?
現(xiàn)在，我不再讓我的“應(yīng)該”成為我的向?qū)?，而是讓我每時(shí)每刻的感受成為我的向?qū)АＮ易屪约罕M可能多地享受電視、睡眠、零食等，而不會(huì)感到內(nèi)疚，相信我的身體會(huì)告訴我什么時(shí)候我充夠電。

When I am well rested and happy, I actually binge less on TV and snacks.
Ask yourself lovingly: What “should’s” can I let go of ?
Say “No” to people who don’t light you up
I value friendships greatly and want to meet up with my friends often. However, my partner points out how my self-esteem changes after I hang out with certain people. It took me a while to make the decision to stop spending time with people who don’t light me up. It’s not that certain friends are not good people, it’s just that some people brings out the bright side of me while others don’t. This decision has enabled me to feel good about myself more consistently.
Ask yourself: How can I spend less time with people who don’t light me up?
See yourself as glass half-full (not half-empty)

當(dāng)我得到充分休息和快樂時(shí)，我實(shí)際上會(huì)減少看電視和吃零食的次數(shù)。
深情地問自己：我能放棄哪些“應(yīng)該”？
對(duì)那些不讓你開心的人說(shuō)“不”
我非常珍視友誼，希望經(jīng)常與朋友見面。然而，我的伴侶指出，在我與某些人交往后，我的自尊會(huì)發(fā)生怎樣的變化。我花了一段時(shí)間才做出決定，不再和那些讓我不開心的人在一起。并不是說(shuō)某些朋友不是好人，只是有些人讓我看到光明，而另一些人卻做不到。這個(gè)決定讓我更加始終如一地自我感覺良好。
捫心自問：我怎樣才能少花時(shí)間和那些讓我不開心的人在一起？
將自己視為半滿（而非半空）的杯子

“I’m not good enough” is a consistent voice in my head. I used to ask my partner why would he want to be with me because I don’t know what he sees in me.
However, if I am more obxtive, I know I have many great qualities. Every one of us has something uniquely great to offer, but we are often blind to our own gifts.
Now, I remind myself each morning during my meditation of what makes me good. I also do a run through of the previous day in my head, and think of all the moments when I embodied my values. For instance, yesterday I connected with a new friend and helped him with his career aspirations. I took initiative to connect with a mentor to get clarity on a issue that has been on my mind. I went to Zumba class and experienced joy.
I was loving, curious, engaging, and joyful. That is me.
Ask yourself: What values/qualities did I embody everyday, and why I love that about me?
How sweet would the world be if we are all more loving to ourselves, and focus on seeing the good in us?

“我不夠好”是我腦海中始終如一的聲音。我曾經(jīng)問我的伴侶為什么想和我在一起，因?yàn)槲也恢浪谖疑砩峡吹搅耸裁础?br /> 然而，如果我更客觀一些，我知道我有很多優(yōu)秀的品質(zhì)。我們每個(gè)人都有一些獨(dú)特的偉大的東西，但我們經(jīng)常忽視自己的天賦。
現(xiàn)在，我每天早上在冥想時(shí)都會(huì)提醒自己是什么讓我變得好。我也會(huì)在腦海中回顧前一天的事情，回想所有我體現(xiàn)自己價(jià)值觀的時(shí)刻。例如，昨天我聯(lián)系了一位新朋友，幫助他實(shí)現(xiàn)了職業(yè)抱負(fù)。我主動(dòng)聯(lián)系了一位導(dǎo)師，理清了一直縈繞在我腦海中的問題。我去上尊巴舞課，體驗(yàn)到了快樂。
我充滿愛，好奇，迷人，快樂，那就是我。
捫心自問：我每天都體現(xiàn)了什么價(jià)值觀/品質(zhì)，為什么我喜歡自己？
如果我們都更愛自己，專注于看到自己的優(yōu)點(diǎn)，這個(gè)世界會(huì)有多美好。

Amrita Angappa
I had stage fear right from my childhood. I get sweaty, my head goes blank and my hands start shivering when I get on the stage.
I was asked to give a seminar on Thermodynamics during Physics hour. It was a tough situation since I was not very much of a techie.
I did not understand most of the concept.When it was time for the seminar, I reluctantly got up from my place.
People could see my hands shivering while I was holding the notebook. I bluffed something and came back with tears in my eyes.
My friends were supportive but straight-forwardly told that it was not a good seminar session. It hurt my self-esteem a bit. I did not want to give up.
We had Tamil class during the next hour. I voluntarily stood up to enact a drama by reading aloud a lesson on a tamil drama.
Still the same stage fear with hand shivering and giddiness... But I just wanted to prove myself to me! I don't want the previous incident to accelerate my stage fear and nervousness, which has taken up most of my childhood.

我從小就有舞臺(tái)恐懼癥。當(dāng)我走上舞臺(tái)時(shí)，渾身出汗，頭腦空白，雙手也開始顫抖。
我被要求在物理課上做一個(gè)關(guān)于熱力學(xué)的研討會(huì)。這是一個(gè)艱難的局面，因?yàn)槲也皇且粋€(gè)技術(shù)人員。
這個(gè)概念的大部分內(nèi)容我都不理解。到了研討會(huì)的時(shí)間，我不情愿地從座位上起身。
人們可以看到我拿著筆記本時(shí)雙手顫抖。我虛張聲勢(shì)，回來(lái)時(shí)眼里含著淚水。
我的朋友們表示支持，但直截了當(dāng)?shù)馗嬖V我，這不是一個(gè)好的研討會(huì)。這有點(diǎn)傷了我的自尊心，不過我不想放棄。
在接下來(lái)的一個(gè)小時(shí)里，我們上了泰米爾語(yǔ)課。我自愿站起來(lái)，通過大聲朗讀一個(gè)泰米爾戲劇課程來(lái)表演一個(gè)戲劇。
仍然是同樣的階段，手顫抖，頭暈，但我只是想證明給自己看!我不希望之前的事件讓我在舞臺(tái)上恐懼和緊張，這占據(jù)了我大部分的童年。

I closed my eyes for a bit, took deep breaths and kept walking to the stage.
I modulated my voice according to different characters in the drama and did the role-play single-handedly. I enjoyed it a lot.
It was a huge hit. I got a standing ovation from my classmates.
That was the moment I realized that I wanted to stay in the creative area. I also realized that science was not my cup of tea.
More than everything, that was the moment I fell in love with myself. I never give up. I stand up for myself, keep learning and trying what I like.

我閉上眼睛，深呼吸，繼續(xù)走向舞臺(tái)。
我根據(jù)劇中不同的角色調(diào)整了自己的聲音，并獨(dú)自完成了角色扮演，對(duì)此我很高興。
這是一個(gè)巨大的成功。同學(xué)們起立為我鼓掌。
那一刻我意識(shí)到我想留在創(chuàng)意領(lǐng)域。我也意識(shí)到科學(xué)不是我所喜歡的。
最重要的是，那一刻我愛上了自己。我從未放棄，我堅(jiān)持自己的立場(chǎng)，不斷學(xué)習(xí)和嘗試我喜歡的東西。

Anupam Kushwaha, Multilingual: English, Hindi, Java, C++, jaxcript.
It's not so simple: We often believe that we do love ourselves, and yet our actions and reactions, and our lives, suggest otherwise. Yet loving yourself is essential to your personal growth, to the fulfillment of your dreams, and to developing healthy, happy relationships with others. Instead of trying to just talk yourself into believing you have self-love, foster compassion for yourself with these three practical steps:
Care as much about yourself as you do for others.It sounds simple, but many of us simply don’t do this because we think we are being selfish or that our own needs are not important. It is not selfish to care about yourself. Compassion for yourself means showing concern for your own feelings as well as for others. Treat yourself the way you would treat your children or your best friend—with gentleness, concern and caring.

事情并不是那么簡(jiǎn)單：我們常常相信我們確實(shí)愛自己，但我們的行為、反應(yīng)和生活卻表明了相反的看法。然而，愛自己對(duì)你的個(gè)人成長(zhǎng)、實(shí)現(xiàn)夢(mèng)想、與他人建立健康、快樂的關(guān)系都是至關(guān)重要的。與其試圖說(shuō)服自己相信自己有自愛，不如通過以下三個(gè)實(shí)際步驟培養(yǎng)對(duì)自己的同情心：
像關(guān)心別人一樣關(guān)心自己。這聽起來(lái)很簡(jiǎn)單，但我們中的許多人根本不這么做，因?yàn)槲覀冋J(rèn)為自己很自私，或者我們自己的需求并不重要。關(guān)心自己并不自私。有同情心意味著關(guān)心自己和他人的感受。以溫柔、關(guān)心和關(guān)懷的態(tài)度對(duì)待自己，就像對(duì)待孩子或最好的朋友一樣。

Maintain your boundaries.Write a list of the things that you need emotionally, things that are important to you and that upset you or hurt your feelings when they are ignored or violated. They could include being listened to; getting sympathy when you’re hurt; being celebrated when you succeed; receiving love and tenderness without asking for it; being cared for; and knowing you can rely on someone. Whatever is important to you is important. And when someone ignores what’s important to you or crosses your boundary, you’ll know—because it hurts. Don’t ignore that. Your feelings are there to tell you what’s right and what’s wrong.
Do what you need to do to be you.First, figure out what makes you feel good. It doesn’t matter what it is, but become aware of how you feel when you do things. Do you feel exhausted at work, but exhilarated when you’re in the garden? Do you feel joyful reading to your children? Fulfilled when you are writing poetry or volunteering? Find out what makes you feel good and do it, as often as you can. Feeling good is all the permission you need to do what you love to do. And the more you do those things, the happier you will be. If it means you have to give up something else, so be it. Perhaps you need to spend more time on your own or schedule an hour every weekend to visit an art gallery to recharge. Maybe you need to save up some money to buy paints and brushes, or ask your family to look after themselves for a few hours while you take a stress-relieving walk. Perhaps you need to join a club to meet like-minded people who inspire you. Do what you need to do to be you and don’t let anyone blame you, criticize you or talk you out of it because they think you are being selfish, silly, or delusional. Ignore them.
All of these things will help you to develop a sense of accomplishment, a sense of pride in what you are doing and who you are, and a realization that you are a worthy, talented, capable, lovable person who deserves to be loved. And the most important person to believe that is you.

保持你的邊界。寫一張清單，列出你在情感上需要的事情，那些對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)很重要的事情，當(dāng)它們被忽視或侵犯時(shí)讓你難過或傷害你的感情的東西。它們可以包括被傾聽；當(dāng)你受傷時(shí)獲得同情；當(dāng)你成功時(shí)被慶祝不求回報(bào)地得到愛和溫柔;照顧;知道你可以依靠別人。任何對(duì)你重要的事都是重要的。當(dāng)有人忽略了對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)重要的事情，或者越過了你的邊界，你就會(huì)知道—因?yàn)檫@令你很痛苦。不要忽視這一點(diǎn)。你的感覺會(huì)告訴你什么是對(duì)的，什么是錯(cuò)的。
做你想做的事。首先，找出什么讓你感覺良好。不管是什么，但要意識(shí)到自己做事時(shí)的感受。你是否在工作中感到疲憊，但在花園里卻感到興奮？給孩子們讀書你覺得快樂嗎？當(dāng)你寫詩(shī)或做志愿者時(shí)，你是否感到滿足？找出讓你感覺良好的事情，盡可能多地去做。感覺良好是你做你喜歡做的事情所需要的一切許可。你做得越多，你就會(huì)越快樂。如果這意味著你必須放棄別的東西，那就順其自然吧。也許你需要花更多的時(shí)間獨(dú)處，或者每個(gè)周末安排一個(gè)小時(shí)去參觀藝術(shù)畫廊以充電。也許你需要攢錢買油漆和刷子，或者在你散步緩解壓力的時(shí)候，讓你的家人照顧他們自己幾個(gè)小時(shí)。也許你需要加入一個(gè)俱樂部來(lái)結(jié)識(shí)志同道合的人—他們會(huì)激勵(lì)你。做自己需要做的事，不要因?yàn)閯e人認(rèn)為你自私、愚蠢或妄想而責(zé)怪你、批評(píng)你或勸你放棄，別理他們就好。
所有這些都將幫助你培養(yǎng)成就感，對(duì)你正在做的事情和你是誰(shuí)感到自豪，并認(rèn)識(shí)到你是一個(gè)值得愛的、有才華的、有能力的、討人喜歡的人，最重要的是相信你自己。